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5 Ways To Be an Empathetic Leader

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Developing Empathy - A buzz Word in Leadership Development

 

I have been in leadership positions for 5 years now. I don’t want to come across weak. Why should I develop empathy?

I can understand your point of view that an empathic leader could come across weak. It depends how you define empathy. 

We are wired as social beings. Empathy has a crucial place in our evolutionary history to create social bonding in a versatile environment.

Empathy is either the sensations and feelings we’re getting in response to the emotions of another person or understanding other people’s perspective or feelings.

In my opinion these are crucial skills of a leader. It reflects to others how you are perceived: insensitive, protective,  demanding or collaborative and integrating.

Have you ever asked yourself how your own feelings and emotions could be picked up by people around you? Your own uncertainty and fear being transferred to the whole team?

Or how insisting on your own point of view could hinder other ways of problem solutions and manifest the way of least resistance.

Doing something about empathy now, could change the coherency of your team.

Let me share with you 3 tips how to be more emphatic and be perceived as a great leader:

5 Empathetic Tips For Effective Leadership

 

1.Listen actively. Listen to the other person as everything they’re saying is secret information. Notice what is also transmitted with the message (feelings, intentions). Be rather an observer than a critic who is already looking for the next argument or question to respond.

 

2. Don’t interrupt or edit: Hold on to your temptation to interrupt the person to bring the massage to the point. This allows the speaker to fully express their view and point. Make it a goal for yourself to repeat the original information.

 

3. Respond to the person: Go beyond the story and respond to the person behind the story:  “Wow. I can really feel your enthusiasm and commitment!

 

4. Paraphrase: Take up the information and make it your own. Use your own words to mirror back what you have understood and what you have picked up from the emotions.

 

5. Bring in your opinion: When you bring in your point of view let it be information instead of pretending you have the truth: “In my opinion” or “I heard someone say.”

 

Summary

Empathy is a skill that can be learnt.

If you apply these tips into your work life you will discover an increase in the quality of outcome, better team coherency and better performance. 

 

PS:

Be surprised when your 360 feedback improves

Source: Jeffrey Allen (hearing your own filters)

As you have read this information what tip you want to follow?

-> Share in the comments.

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

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4 Instant Ways To Have A Better Mindset

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of BURN-OUT

You Create your own Reality with your Mind

 

"I really try to tell myself that I will get a job again. But there’s always a voice telling me: It won’t work out. The work situation is really bad. And I’m over 40. What can I do?”

Thank you very much for this important question. What if I told you, that this voice in your head is your own voice. And this voice can tell you anything about how ugly you look, that things won’t work out, that you’re not qualified or that you are amazing, brilliant, ready to receive etc. 

It is your choice which of these voices you want to listen to.The mind cannot hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time. Therefore, you have to choose. Which one will you follow?

Let's look at four ways how you can reset your mindset for a better outlook.

Proven Tips For a Better Mindset

 

1.Make your thought a funny comic character

Take this voice out of your head and put it on your thumb or on the floor. Now imagine it as a funny cartoon character like Dagobert Duck chatting with you in its funny voice about all the bad things it has to say. Will you listen to its “chatter”?

 

2. Question your thought

Start a debate with your thoughts: “Interesting. From where did this come from? Who told you this? How did they come to this conclusion?” Then you can bring arguments for your antidote based on life experiences like “I was unemployed before. It was not my best time, but also not terrible. I stayed open minded and positive and in the end someone came from nowhere and guided me to my job.”

 

3. Choose the right words

Your subconscious mind is programmed to do exactly what you tell it to do or to be. If you fill it up with negative words about yourself and the situation, it will give it back to you as commanded. It believes you. Therefore, be wise with choosing words that lift you up and make you who you want to be: “I am getting it. I am brilliant. I am enough…”

 

4. Good or bad - who knows

Let me tell you an old Chinese story about a farmer who used an old horse in his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills, and the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. He replied, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone again sympathized with the farmer over his bad luck. But the farmer’s reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and drafted every able-bodied youth they found. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him stay.

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

It is often our labeling of the situation that creates all the negative feelings associated with it. Identify the situation that you have labeled as bad. 

Now write this question: “Could this turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me?”

Write down your thoughts.

Also write down: “Is there anything I can do to make it the best thing that happened to me?”

 

Summary

Whatever is created in your reality happens between your ears: in your mind and brain.

It is up to us how we create this reality by using mindfulness, re-framing or dialogue with our mind. In the end the best thing is to observe rather than giving it any meaning.

-> Share your answers in the comments.

-> If you know someone who needs to know about these tools, share this post with them.

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

Workplace Burnout: 3 Reliable Ways On How To Overcome The Mayor Signs

SilkCelia-3 Ways To Overcome Burnout

Burnout is an occupational phenomenon – not an illness or health condition. The 11th revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) defines burn-out “as a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed”.

In short you experience your workplace as stressful and you are not able anymore to copy with the demands. It does not apply to other stressful experiences in your life.

If you can identify the symptoms early enough, you’ll increase your chances to tackle the underlying issue on time… and not to drift into an illness.

 

SilkCelia-Ovecome Exhaustion

1. Feeling of Energy Depletion and Exhaustion.

Burnout and depression share some of the same symptoms. Symptom means it is your own subjective experience. Your body feels depleted of energy and vitality. You feel as if your body is paralyzed.

What you experience

  • You wake up still tired though you went to bed early.
  • Climbing the stairs, preparing for work, taking in the grocery shopping or lifting up your kids takes more effort than you can afford.
  • You feel overwhelmed by the tasks ahead of you.

What you can do to overcome your exhaustion

1.Look at the time you’re spending at work and the time you’re actually performing at work. Create buffer zones to create space in your calendar to rewire and not to expire.

  • Apps like brain focus  can help you create focus and break times. You can adjust the focus time that best fits you. For example 25 min focus and 5 min break. In the break time make sure to do the opposite of what you were doing.
  • Great time breaks are: Breathing, Brain Fitness, Stretching, Mindfulness, and Lunch away from the desk. Or use this time to check on social media if necessary.

2. If you’re chasing deadlines instead of finishing them, scale back and set priorities. You can’t do everything at any time. Do a single to-do list for every day with things you must do.

3. You are not designed as a robot who can perform 24/7. Even a robot needs energy to perform. Though you may not follow a 9 to 5 job, the 8 hours work day and weekend were created for a reason. After work time is an important part for your inner balance and social connections.

4. Create a sleep ritual to get your body into sleeping mode. Detach from devices at least an hour before bed time. The bright light interferes with sleeping hormones that are released from your brain when it is becoming dark. Get in the rhythm of becoming more and more relaxed. Guided meditations and calm music can help.

SilkCelia-Reconnect To Your Workplace

2. Increased mental distance from one’s job.

It is natural that there are time that you don’t enjoy the work you do. However, if this feeling persists even when you are with friends and family, or just thinking about your work makes you feel miserable and you map out how you could escape your work, then this is a symptom of burnout.

What you experience

  • You’re calling in sick days on a regular basis.
  • You suspect that your colleagues, your boss or clients are against you and you become more irritable and less patient.
  • You do not attend company events or parties you were once looking forward to.

What you can do to overcome your distance

The most important thing is to find out, what is truly causing the stress at your work place.

  • Is it a conflict you have with your boss or colleague and it effects your work relationship?
  • Is it the new software you’re not understanding and you lack behind your work?
  • Is it the merging of departments and you fear to be sidelined or laid off?
  • Is it that you feel that you have to prove yourself  to be in your current position?

___________________________________________________

These are some guidelines for your self-reflection (adapted from Byron Katie):

  • In this current work situation, who/what angers, confuses, saddens, or pressures you and why?

Fill in the blanks: I am _____ with ______ because_____

  • In order to be happy in this situation what do you need them to think, say, feel or do?

Fill in the blanks: I want _____ to __________

  • What is it about the situation that you’ve never want to experience again?

Fill in the blanks: I don’t ever want to __________

___________________________________________________

Do this self-reflection to understand the deeper reasons of your burn-out. Only then you can find the right solution for your work situation.

If you need further help to find the underlying narrative of your distance to your work and how to solve it, book a 30-min discovery call with me now.

SilkCelia-Regain Control

3. Reduced Professional Efficiency

Once your burnout reaches a certain level, it will affect your work performance and your self-confidence. The nervous system has taken its toll on your stress response, your emotions and thoughts. You experience a mental burnout.

What you experience

  • Thoughts in your mind become louder and asking you: “What’s the point!”
  • You think this work is awful and it will always be like this.
  • You may start feeling hopeless, helpless and powerless.
  • You feel that the situation is not in your control, not predictable and you have no abilities to deal with it.
  • These symptoms can also manifest as a mental fatigue. You have difficulty concentrating at work and finish your daily tasks not to speak about getting done novel and complex problems.

What you can do to overcome your reduced professional efficiency

1.Make the part of your work you can control predictable. Take time as your precious gift and trade it for the things that bring you and your project forward. This means setting clear boundaries and reducing low value digital noise and optimize tools that benefit your work.

2. Focus on the positive. Burnout can occur because your focus is lost and misdirected to negative emotions and thoughts. Consider your daily thoughts and feelings. Are you focusing on the negative aspects of every situation?

How can you change this, so your thoughts are on a more positive path?

___________________________________________________

Do this short exercise from The Work by Byron Katie.

  1. What is your belief/thought concerning your work?
  2. Can you absolutely know it is true?
  3. Does this thought bring peace or stress into your life?
  4. What images or body sensation arise when you think of this thought?
  5. What are events in your life you felt similar?
  6. What feelings arise when you have this thought (e.g. anger, sadness, helpless, hopeless…)
  7. Who would you be without this thought?

___________________________________________________

You may want to create lists of positive actions and thoughts throughout the day to stay on track. You can keep a notebook of inspirational quotes to help you avoid negativity.

Summary

To increase your chances to prevent depression and recover from burn-out fast, take time to relax and follow this advice.

Find time to relax, trade your time as the most precious asset, reflect on the narratives of your work place situation and play with your negative thoughts. Understanding the underlying issue of your burnout will increase your chances to recover from burn-out and possibly make you more resilient in the future.

What insights are you taking away from this? And most importantly what are you going to put into action? Comment below.

How To Recover From Burnout in 4 Sessions

Click on this link >> to book a call with me and find out how you can leave burnout, anxiety and stress behind and increase your wellbeing and success.

Interested?  Let’s work together.

Consider how you came to be in this situation. Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? What needs to happen to prevent the same situation from happening again?

My goal as an executive coach is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for professionals who go through life changes or challenging situations resulting in burnout, stress and anxiety. No matter where you are in the world, the therapy sessions are held online. 4-Hours of my Elevate Intensive and you will improve the quality of your life, switch your body back to peace and balance, and gain clarity and focus.

I hold a master’s degree in psychology with an over 15-years career in counseling and coaching. I trained with a broad range of international experts like the world-renowned therapist and pioneering hypnotherapist Marisa Peer (Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner®), Rori Raye (Relationship Coaching), and Prof. Dr. Justin Kennedy (Applied Neuroscience Coaching).

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.