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Leadership In An Anxious And Uncertain World

BrainBoss Method-Lead in VUCA World

Be a Leader in an anxious world

 

"We are in a restructuring process in most parts of our company: we are changing teams and leaders, we’re reacting to the current situation. The question that comes up all the time is: ‘Where do I go from here? And how do I lead people through uncertain situations?”

We are living in challenging times indeed. Times that push us into the new with little preparedness. All organizations are affected, from businesses, to schools, civil service structures to governments. Some organizations react and others respond to your questions.

People who are leading others are expected to provide strategic solutions and measurable results, hence forgetting the human aspect of the quotation: the underlying anxiety and uncertainty.

Imagine that nobody has been in such a situation before. Hence, there are no maps guiding you.

I realize that any solution to this current situation is not based on economic knowledge anymore, but on the ability to deal with complex and uncertain situations.

Let’s look at some aspects of how you can bring certainty and motivation to the people.

Brain Hacks To Lead in Ambiguity and Uncertainty

 

1. Self-Awareness
If a situation is uncertain and perceived as stressful, the amygdala — the primal region of the brain associated with fear and anxiety-related memories — is activated. This awareness starts with you. Are you suppressing thoughts like: “I am not in control?” or “I am overwhelmed?” If you want it or not, people are sensing these feelings inside you.

Therefore, the best thing you can do as a leader is to express these feelings to yourself by journaling it or even express it to your team like: “These are challenging times. I have not been in such a situation before. I believe nobody has. Let’s go through this uncertainty together, step by step, in the best way we can.”

 

2. Purpose and Direction
Purpose is one crucial key motivator that shifts the focus to action and moving forward instead of remaining in the fear zone. Purpose shifts the attention to the we. Give your team a strong reason to hang on and go with you through current and future threats. Ensure that your team members understand this purpose through interpersonal talks.

Best leaders provide a clear direction and are honest about the fact that the direction may need to be adjusted if circumstances change.

Define clear roles for team members and set with them their individual goals. Give regular brief feedback about their current status and acknowledge their valued contributions.

 

3. Autonomy and Creativity
Another important motivator is autonomy. After you have defined roles and goals, let go of control and trust team members to schedule their own time and activity how to reach their goals. Let them work when they are at their best to produce the best outcomes. Novel new solutions are coming when you are loosing the grip from your cognitive control system to find paths that have never been taken before.

Create moments of creativity by leading brainstorming sessions with your team or teach team members ways of intuitive insights like meditation or intuition exercises. Start the creative process by asking: “Where do I go from here to there?” Imagine all what you don’t want to experience and what you wish to experience as an outcome.

 

4. Action despite Feelings
ACT action commitment therapy focuses on showing the client that they can act in accordance to their values in high states of anxiety, depression, stress. As a leader you can transfer these principles to your organization. If employees are aligned with the purpose of the organization and find their values reflected in it, they are more likely to prioritize actions to fulfill their values. The question you may want to ask  is: “What makes it important for you to stay and work?” Relating to their values makes it easier to commit to actions.

 

5. Reassess
While you are navigating towards the given direction, be open to additional information that could help you evaluate whether your direction is working out or not. If one option does not work out, see this as part of the creative learning process.

Keep your team informed and remind them you are doomed to make mistakes as nobody has the golden map. Know that for mastery you have to try out what works and what does not work all over again.

 

6. Remain optimistic
Best leaders are believing from within that something good is going to happen. At the end of the day they write down with their team three amazing things that happened to them to keep this optimistic view present as things are already good in the now.

 

Summary

Let me close with a quote from Winston Churchill:

“Continuous effort, not tenth or intelligence, is key to unlocking your potential.”

From the above tips select two you want to put continuous effort in?

-> Share in the comments.

-> If you know someone who will benefit from it, share this post with them.

Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

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6 Ways To Tame Your Emotions

How To Tame Your Emotions

You Can Control Important Meetings From Within

 

In my position I often have important meetings in which I have to represent myself. It should be routine by now, but such situations still make me uneasy and uncomfortable. What can I do?

 

Thank you very much for your openness. The biggest issue most leaders face in such situations are the feelings and emotions that come with it.

Based on your framing of the meeting the internal alarm system signalizes a potential threat and reacts with an automated stress response that’s not even in your conscious control. As a consequence you feel uncomfortable and uneasy and don’t react in the way you had intended. And sometimes even in ways you judge yourself after.

If your internal system is on fire, you can’t hold a board meeting in the same building.

There are some ways top performers/leaders are doing before and during the meeting.

Neurohacks to regulate your emotions and your response 

 

1.Change the frame. If you label the meeting as something important where you have to shine or even deliver a negative message, it puts pressure on you and the circumstance. If you now label it as an “exchange of information among people with a positive intention”, how does this make you feel now?

 

2. Anchor yourself in the present moment. Feel your feet firmly on the ground, and imagine roots going from your feet into the ground. Feel deeply rooted. Additionally, imagine a tree trunk from your buttocks downwards. This simple exercise gives you not only stability but also lets you better focus on the meeting.

 

3. Get panoramic. Expand your eyes to both sides to get a panoramic view. With a panoramic view you can take in more information about what's actually happening in a conversation. In contrast in a stressful situation you tend to concentrate on a particular thing.

 

4. Breathe like the seals. Use a specific breathing technique to get into a more relaxed state and buffer the sympathetic response. Breathe in through your nose in two stages: starting from your belly up to your chest. Then exhale with an audible breath expressing relief. Combined with the panoramic gaze you have an instant tool to stay calm and concentrated.

 

5. Label Your emotions. Be in your body to sense what is going on there. Emotions are energy in motion that are creating sensations in your body like tension, tightness, numb etc. It is then another brain region in the insula area of the mid-brain that interprets these sensations as feelings. And at this point you can gain control. Label the feeling and sensation in your body: “I feel…. (overwhelmed, not understood etc.)” or “I sense that my … (belly, fist, chaw etc.) feels (tight, tensed, numb etc.). You will realize that the energy will shift as you separate yourself from your emotions. You are not your emotions anymore.

 

6. Color the scene. If you feel that you are not acting the way you intended, set a stop signal and color the whole scene with your favorite calming color. With your imaginary eye, splash the color all over the people, the table, the walls… until your feeling shifts to a neutral zone. From here you can do the panoramic gaze and the breathing to encourage the parasympathetic system for reset.

 

Summary

With all these neurohack tools from grounding over gazing to coloring you are in a better leading position to focus your attention on the other person or persons and respond to answers and create a conducive environment.

 

As you have read this information what is your favorite tool?

-> Share in the comments.

-> If you know someone who needs to read this, share the article with them.

Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

How To Overcome Imposter Sydrome

BrainBoss-Overcome Imposter

I think I'm a Fraud

Most people see me as a very confident person. I am a very successful business consultant and best selling author. And sometimes I think to myself: ‘Hopefully, nobody will ever find out that actually I am not so good at it and things are so easy for me ? What can I do about it”

 

This is a feeling several people have approached me. It is a pattern, in which you doubt your accomplishments or talent and you have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as fraud.

This phenomenon is known as imposter syndrome.

This might be because at some point in the past, your school results or sporting activities were measured against an ideal and then focused on the short fall. This may have imprinted a message that you’re not capable of showing your full potential. Additionally, well meant criticism “to work harder to achieve more”, may have resulted in working 'hard' to achieve results and to fulfill expectations.

Whatever the cause may be, you can change this limiting mind model.

Signs of Imposter Sydrome

Below you can find common signs of Imposter Syndrome.

  • Self-doubt
  • An inability to realistically assess your competence and skills
  • Attributing your success to external factors
  • Berating your performance
  • Fear that you won't live up to expectations
  • Overachieving 
  • Sabotaging your own success
  • Self-doubt
  • Setting very challenging goals and feeling disappointed when you fall short

Overcome Your Imposter Sydrome

 

You say that others perceive you as confident. That’s an asset already that you were able to develop a strong persona. Additionally, you are aware of what triggers your uncertainty like being exposed to new and challenging situations, having to ask for help, not feeling comfortable telling your truth, doing things too easily.

Now you only need to change your focus. List down everything in your life and assess if you cheated to achieve it. Did you buy your academic test result? Did you engage a ghostwriter to write the book?. Attach all references of your clients to the list.

You mention that things are very easy for you. Honor your talent that you understand things very fast and find a solution. That’s a cognitive ability. With this you can even help your clients and take away pressure when they realize that issues that may appear complicated can be easily handled.

You are an adult now and you do not need approval from parents anymore to be liked. You can define what success means to you at your own terms, you can value yourself for all the actions you are taking to pursue your goals. If you achieve them or not is not the question, but if you enjoy the ride and create value for yourself and others.

You have the power for change in your own hands

 

Do you know someone who has to read this?

-> Share with them the article.

Leave your questions in the comment section below.

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

4 Ways How To Reconcile With Your Parents

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The Psychology of Forgiveness

 

"Meeting my parents is really annoying me and it’s really toxic. Last time I was there, a small comment from my mother really triggered me and we ended up in arguments. I am actually thinking of breaking up the contact. What shall I do?"

This is a question a lot of clients ask me. It is common that children clash with their parents when they are already adults and have their own family. 

The reason behind is that you are still part of the system of your original family and old conflicts and hurt experienced as a child are still alive. In the moment when you're triggered it is that small child inside you that is reacting not you as an adult.

Not you is triggered, but the small child inside you.

As a child you are fully dependent on your parents or caretakers for protection and love. At that time we have not yet developed coping strategies to deal with certain situations or protect ourselves. If basic needs of safety, love and belonging were not met, it creates an imprint that is used in similar situations in life.

Based on this I recommend these four steps on how to handle your parents. These steps you can also adapt to your boss, colleague or partner. 

4 Ways How To Reconcile With Your Parents

 

1.Write a Conciliation letter 

Write a letter and list all the needs that were not fulfilled by your parents and all the events that were hurtful for you as a child. Do this separately for each parent, caretaker, classmate etc. 

You can use phrases like: “I really felt shame, humiliated, helpless, abandoned, anxious, not loved, not good enough, that you did…” “It still stands between us that you…” or “I resent you, that…”

If it is difficult for you to write you can use the alter ego of a wounded child writing this letter: "One day Jim sat down at his bed and wrote the following letter…"

Do not send this letter to the actual person. This letter is for you. Keep it and reread it all over again and reflect on it to acknowledge the feelings of this child. And one day you will recognize that the emotional load has subsided. Then it is the time to burn the letter or give it into a river to carry it away.

This process can take several weeks to write and finally let go off the emotional load.

Bonus: You can do the same if you have a current issue at your workplace.

You can find templates for this conciliation letter below for immediate. download.

 

2. See your parents as part of their circumstances

After you have healed the inner child inside you, you are more able to reflect on the circumstances of your parents. Their upbringing? Their relationship with their parents or siblings? 

Realize that you never were and never will be the savior of you parents and that you are not able to change your parents.

You can only acknowledge the behavior of your parents, you don't need to approve it.

 

3. Plan your time with your parents

You are an adult now and you don't depend on your parents. You can respect them for what they are: The people who brought you to this earth.

Decide how often or how long you want to see your parents. If you already know that being in the house (childhood house) together will cause a similar dynamic, go out with them to a restaurant, mall etc. Be aware that you have now the ability to protect yourself and you do not need to let their words in.

 

4. Shift the Energy in your Family System

With systemic family constellation you can have a closer look at the dynamics and the roles that are still present in your family of origin up to this day.

Your own family members don't need to be present. Participants of such a workshop will stand in for family members.

In this facilitated session you have the opportunity to heal destructive behavior, initiate forgiveness and restore balance in the system.

Systemic constellation work works also in workplace settings.

 

Summary

In order to reconcile with your parents it is important to heal your inner child first so that you can act as an adult to adults.

Know that it is not you the inner child, but the grown up adult.

Direct confrontation with your parents can often cause guilt and defensive behavior in your parents. If you still wish to directly talk to them have the conversation outside your normal gathering and give it a positive preamble (e.g. I want to improve the relationship with you.”

 

As you have read this information what is your first action?

-> Share in the comments.

-> If you know someone who needs to read this, share this article with them.

Immediately download the Conciliation letter with templates below.

Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

5 Ways To Be an Empathetic Leader

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Developing Empathy - A buzz Word in Leadership Development

 

I have been in leadership positions for 5 years now. I don’t want to come across weak. Why should I develop empathy?

I can understand your point of view that an empathic leader could come across weak. It depends how you define empathy. 

We are wired as social beings. Empathy has a crucial place in our evolutionary history to create social bonding in a versatile environment.

Empathy is either the sensations and feelings we’re getting in response to the emotions of another person or understanding other people’s perspective or feelings.

In my opinion these are crucial skills of a leader. It reflects to others how you are perceived: insensitive, protective,  demanding or collaborative and integrating.

Have you ever asked yourself how your own feelings and emotions could be picked up by people around you? Your own uncertainty and fear being transferred to the whole team?

Or how insisting on your own point of view could hinder other ways of problem solutions and manifest the way of least resistance.

Doing something about empathy now, could change the coherency of your team.

Let me share with you 3 tips how to be more emphatic and be perceived as a great leader:

5 Empathetic Tips For Effective Leadership

 

1.Listen actively. Listen to the other person as everything they’re saying is secret information. Notice what is also transmitted with the message (feelings, intentions). Be rather an observer than a critic who is already looking for the next argument or question to respond.

 

2. Don’t interrupt or edit: Hold on to your temptation to interrupt the person to bring the massage to the point. This allows the speaker to fully express their view and point. Make it a goal for yourself to repeat the original information.

 

3. Respond to the person: Go beyond the story and respond to the person behind the story:  “Wow. I can really feel your enthusiasm and commitment!

 

4. Paraphrase: Take up the information and make it your own. Use your own words to mirror back what you have understood and what you have picked up from the emotions.

 

5. Bring in your opinion: When you bring in your point of view let it be information instead of pretending you have the truth: “In my opinion” or “I heard someone say.”

 

Summary

Empathy is a skill that can be learnt.

If you apply these tips into your work life you will discover an increase in the quality of outcome, better team coherency and better performance. 

 

PS:

Be surprised when your 360 feedback improves

Source: Jeffrey Allen (hearing your own filters)

As you have read this information what tip you want to follow?

-> Share in the comments.

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

4 Instant Ways To Have A Better Mindset

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of BURN-OUT

You Create your own Reality with your Mind

 

"I really try to tell myself that I will get a job again. But there’s always a voice telling me: It won’t work out. The work situation is really bad. And I’m over 40. What can I do?”

Thank you very much for this important question. What if I told you, that this voice in your head is your own voice. And this voice can tell you anything about how ugly you look, that things won’t work out, that you’re not qualified or that you are amazing, brilliant, ready to receive etc. 

It is your choice which of these voices you want to listen to.The mind cannot hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time. Therefore, you have to choose. Which one will you follow?

Let's look at four ways how you can reset your mindset for a better outlook.

Proven Tips For a Better Mindset

 

1.Make your thought a funny comic character

Take this voice out of your head and put it on your thumb or on the floor. Now imagine it as a funny cartoon character like Dagobert Duck chatting with you in its funny voice about all the bad things it has to say. Will you listen to its “chatter”?

 

2. Question your thought

Start a debate with your thoughts: “Interesting. From where did this come from? Who told you this? How did they come to this conclusion?” Then you can bring arguments for your antidote based on life experiences like “I was unemployed before. It was not my best time, but also not terrible. I stayed open minded and positive and in the end someone came from nowhere and guided me to my job.”

 

3. Choose the right words

Your subconscious mind is programmed to do exactly what you tell it to do or to be. If you fill it up with negative words about yourself and the situation, it will give it back to you as commanded. It believes you. Therefore, be wise with choosing words that lift you up and make you who you want to be: “I am getting it. I am brilliant. I am enough…”

 

4. Good or bad - who knows

Let me tell you an old Chinese story about a farmer who used an old horse in his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer’s neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

A week later, the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the hills, and the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. He replied, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

Then, when the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone again sympathized with the farmer over his bad luck. But the farmer’s reaction was, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and drafted every able-bodied youth they found. When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they let him stay.

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

It is often our labeling of the situation that creates all the negative feelings associated with it. Identify the situation that you have labeled as bad. 

Now write this question: “Could this turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to me?”

Write down your thoughts.

Also write down: “Is there anything I can do to make it the best thing that happened to me?”

 

Summary

Whatever is created in your reality happens between your ears: in your mind and brain.

It is up to us how we create this reality by using mindfulness, re-framing or dialogue with our mind. In the end the best thing is to observe rather than giving it any meaning.

-> Share your answers in the comments.

-> If you know someone who needs to know about these tools, share this post with them.

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

Busting The Myths About Hypnosis

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Before your start hypnosis read this: What happens to your mind during hypnosis.

 

"I am intrigued to try out hypnosis as I heard a lot about it by Maris Peer. But I fear that hypnosis will cause me any harm. And I do not want to do something I do not want."

Thank you very much for your interest in hypnosis and its healing effect. Unfortunately, there are many myths around hypnosis mostly based on stage shows or inexperienced therapists.

On the surface this issue boils down to the question of ‘is hypnosis harmful?’ Is it that someone else is controlling your mind or things are coming to the surface that you do not want to know about.

Let’s start first with what hypnosis is. Hypnosis is a method of relaxation and concentration that provides access to a unique state of consciousness. 

This state is characterized on one side by increased insight and awareness.

This state is characterized on one side by increased insight and awareness. In this more active state you observe and make sense of the revealed subconscious material so that you can come up with goal directed activities. 

On the other side hypnosis is characterized by free access to unconscious material without the normal critical judgement. In this more receptive state you are more alert and very safe and in which suggestion can be made to help you make a positive change.

The experience of hypnosis is not different from experiencing a relaxing state or starting to fall asleep.

Hypnotherapy is not about the client being controlled - quite the opposite. 

Hypnosis is empowering you to find all the answers within yourself. You can always ‘reject’ a suggestion or tell the therapist what you want to hear. Have you ever heard about a hypnotherapist who became very rich because he/she made people donate him millions or rob a bank?

What you may have seen on stage shows is that members of the audience are specifically selected for the stage performance. These are people who wish to comply and have a desire to be extroverted. 

Hypnotherapy is NOT stage hypnosis!

Hypnotherapy is a way to work on physical symptoms like tension, fears, fatigue. Or if you find it difficult  to get along in your work or relationship with people; or if you feel irritable, unhappy and believe you are not getting the most out of life.

One of the most important aspects of the client/relationship is empathy and rapport. Therefore, I focus on empathy and trust and offer a free discovery session before any further agreement. 

It is also important to find out how long a therapist has been practicing hypnotherapy, if she is a specialist in a certain modality and if he has professional experience in the field of healing and counselling.

As with any modality it is the experience of the therapists and the rapport with the client that brings the expected change.


Summary

Read the whole summary about busting the myths about hypnosis in the pictures below.

Do you have further questions about hypnosis? 

-> Share in the comments.

-> Have you ever tried hypnosis before?What were your experiences?

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.

Motivation: 6 Dopamine Infused Ways To Get and Keep It

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Why a positive mindset may not be enough to get up and go

 

"I want to be healthier and start exercising… I want to be more successful and launch my new course… but I do NOT ACT on it."

For 15 years I’ve been coaching people to change their deep rooted limiting beliefs to supportive ones using the power of hypnotic suggestions.

Then I realized that people thought positively and felt great about themselves and still didn’t do the actions needed to move forward.

They waited for the motivation to push them from the sofa to change their eating habits, to go to the gym, to start writing their book, to launch their business…

Having the desire is not enough to make you move and act on it.

Sometimes you may desire something (a thinner or successful you), but only the imagination of any extra effort makes your brain switch back to channel “comfort groove”.

What is Motivation

 

Motivation is the process to initiate, direct and maintain behavior to reach a desired outcome.

Motivation involves according to verywellmind three aspects: 

  1. Activation: You have to make the decision to ACT on a certain behavior e.g. write a book.
  2. Persistence: Continued effort to move towards your goal though it may take your resources, time and energy. You may have to schedule daily time for writing in order to finish your book. 
  3. Intensity: The vigor you put into pursuing your goals. You write on a regular basis, attend some writing courses and get an editor to accomplish your goal.

If you reach your goal depends now on the interplay of all three components. If your activation is high, congratulations, you are getting up and going. How far you will go depends on your persistence and how much effort you put in.

Dopamine infused Tips to increase your Motivation

 

1.Know your why. The brain likes to be set on a passionate long-term goal and it responds well to imaginations. Create a strong image of your goal and outcome. See, hear, feel, smell and taste it with all your senses. The brain does not know if you’re making it up or experiencing it in reality. It responds to the images you feed it with.

 

2. Launch daily activities towards your goal. A client started her book journey by writing whatever came to her mind into a journal for 30 minutes every day. Another client followed this ritual to go to the gym: He set a wake-up alarm away from his bed so that he needed to stand up. Additionally, he placed his sport shoes In front of his bed room the night before. No excuses.

 

3. Set the right dose. You work on your optimum level if something is not not boring (no activation) and not too challenging (over-activation). Therefore, find your optimum activity so that you stay on track. Writing 1000 words daily or running for 60 min on the treadmill may be too much and going to the gym may be too boring for some people.

 

4. Use powerful words. Our brain loves dopamine and it is not very selective in its choice. Take this to your advantage. Though you may not want to write or go to the gym at all, tell your mind things like: “I love to do it!” “It’s such a pleasure to do it!” “I choose this to look adorable/become famous.”

 

5. Set a cue. For a faster habit formation set a “‘bell’ to initiate your behavior. It can be a reminder on our phone, a message from a friend, or the alarm clock.

 

6. Reward yourself. After you have done what seemed like an obstacle for you, evaluate how you feel now. Often people feel so much better. Honor this state and tell your brain: “I feel so great…” And do you know what? The brain thinks you are experiencing something that is better as you thought and… releases dopamine. The drug that makes you seek more of that experience.

 

Summary

Without any action there is no move.

As you have read this information what is your first action?

-> Share in the comments.

-> If you know someone who followed this advice and got up and go, share their story in the comments below.

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Interested?  Let’s work together.

Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? 

My goal as a coaching psychologist is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for goal-seekers. No matter where you are in the world, the sessions are held online on a secured health line.

With my unique ground-breaking BrainBoss Method you are able to uncover the deeper roots of thoughts, feelings and behavior AND instantly Rewire your brain for success ad well-being.

An over 15-years career in counseling and coaching provides you a safe space to for your personal transformation. 

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

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What Really Predicts Burnout From Work

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An executive client recently wrote to me saying, “I feel exhausted and tense and I can’t sleep well. Because of burnout, I lost my concentration, my spirit and my whole power!”

As a mental and behavior expert, I am often confronted with clients who are complaining about tension in their body, frequent headaches and sleeplessness. They might exhibit psychological signs of irritation, feel overwhelmed and distance themselves from work. In the media, “burnout” is used to describe a lot of mental and physical conditions, regardless of the symptoms and their causes. Therefore, the concept of burnout is often vague and blurry. Let’s consider the facts.


Characteristics of Burnout

The World Health Organization defines burnout as a condition resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. Burnout has three defining characteristics, which include “feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy.” They also emphasize that burnout should be seen in the occupational context and not be used to describe other areas of life.

Keep in mind that non-workplace-related stress factors can cause similar symptoms to burnout and that unmanaged work-related stress can cause mental health issues, like depression and anxiety. This is precisely what I want to help people avoid. Most people simply aren’t aware when they feel stressed and only wake up when they physically and mentally collapse.


Individual Risk Factors

The reasons for burnout vary. In my coaching, I use an adapted checklist from the book Burnout for Experts: Prevention in the Context of Living and Working. Together, with the client, we identify his or her personal workplace stressors so that we can apply the right approach for their burnout recovery and prevention.

In the case of the client who emailed me — let’s call him Marc — he previously felt fully engaged and committed to his work. So committed, in fact, that he often didn’t notice how much time had passed. There was a nagging disagreement with his business partner, but he wanted to maintain harmony. Instead of confronting the business partner, he kept quiet and took on some additional tasks. In our discovery session, he further revealed that financial insecurity had taken a toll on him and he felt he had to sort it out by himself.

There had been signs of energy depletion before, but Marc ignored them. My advice to Marc and others is that it’s time to learn the skills needed to give you the confidence to change your work situation, whether it’s reduced working hours, saying no to tasks, confronting work conflicts, discussing career plans and reward schemes or seeking help.


Short-Term Interventions

Resilience, in the context of work, is defined as the ability of a person to recover, bounce back, adjust or respond to workplace stressors, change and adversity. There are two steps you can take in the short term to improve your overall resiliency.

1. Make your neurons fit.

The key factors to make your neurons and your brain fit are sleep, nutrition and exercise.

According to research, adults should get at least six hours of sleep a night. Enough sleep and good sleep quality determine whether you can run at peak performance the next day and help prevent burnout. Recent studieshave also shown that exercise and a diet enriched with the Omega-3 fatty acid DHA (in fish or plant-based foods), fresh fruits and vegetables positively impact synaptic plasticity and cognitive ability. Together, all three can help combat mental health issues.

Marc decided to schedule high-intensity interval trainings in his calendar that he could easily do for 20 minutes at home. He also looked up delivery services that could bring nutritious meals to his office. Most importantly, he set a bedtime so that he could reduce his evening activities and smoothly transition into sleeping.

2. Be emotionally fit to cope with stress.

Mindfulness, self-efficiency and coping strategies are big players when it comes to preventing and reducing burnout.

• Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a mental state in which you can mentally step back and observe what’s going on (e.g., observing your thoughts and feelings) so that you can act with awareness and flexibility. Marc considered his avoidance behavior of not confronting his partner. He realized that this had contributed to his additional workload. He acknowledged that his fear of confrontation was a strategy he had developed during his teenage years and that it was outdated in this stage of his life.

• Self-Efficiency: If you believe you’re able to perform a given task, you’re more likely to actively approach a situation. Your belief in your own capability is highly impacted by past experiences and core beliefs about yourself. Marc felt very competent in the operational side of his business, but had neglected his financial situation and relied on outside accountants. He had not been aware of running costs that caused his financial stress. After a discussion, he remembered that he had actually been quite good with numbers in the past and felt motivated to monitor his finances with diligence from now on.

• Coping Style: Coping is a process of adjustment following an adverse event. This coping strategy can be either active or passive. With an active coping strategy you re-assess the stressful situation, find solutions to the problem or seek professional help. With a passive strategy you try to reduce the emotional impact of the stressor by venting, disengaging or using alcohol or other substances. In Marc’s case he needed to have an amicable talk with his partner to express how his partner’s actions made him feel and what he expected from their partnership. Together, we wrote a script and role-played the communication.

Marc was able to recover from his burnout because he was willing to do a profound inquiry of his workplace and his own behavior patterns and beliefs and then actively make changes. And so can you, if you consider your neuronal and emotional fitness.

This article was first published on Forbes.

Interested?  Let’s work together.

Consider how you came to be in this situation. Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? What needs to happen to prevent the same situation from happening again?

My goal as an executive coach is to provide rapid and long-lasting changes for professionals who go through life changes or challenging situations resulting in burnout, stress and anxiety. No matter where you are in the world, the therapy sessions are held online. 4-Hours of my Elevate Intensive and you will improve the quality of your life, switch your body back to peace and balance, and gain clarity and focus.

I hold a master’s degree in psychology with an over 15-years career in counseling and coaching. I trained with a broad range of international experts like the world-renowned therapist and pioneering hypnotherapist Marisa Peer (Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner®), Rori Raye (Relationship Coaching), and Prof. Dr. Justin Kennedy (Applied Neuroscience Coaching).

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

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Tools For Navigating Worry And Anxiety In The Workplace

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Do questions keep you up at night? Maybe you ask yourself, "How should I react to what my boss said to me today?" "Shall I invest in this venture?" "Will we make enough revenue this month?"

As an executive coach and consulting psychologist, these are familiar questions in my practice. In my coaching sessions, I offer clients a safe place to open up to their thoughts and feelings and learn new ways to accept and deal with them. The aim is not only to find the driving factor behind these worrying thoughts but also to be able to detach from them and act in the best way in a given situation.

We all worry sometimes. It’s natural to worry about a granted loan, an upcoming business venture, a new technology or a job interview. At times, that worry might even help you achieve the desired outcome and find better solutions to a problem.

But what if that worry becomes anxiety and disrupts your work performance, quality of work and interpersonal relationships? The National Alliance on Mental Illness estimated that nearly 20% of adults in the U.S. have an anxiety disorder. That's why it's critical to discuss anxiety in the workplace.


When does worrying become anxiety?

In my experience, anxiety in the workplace is often indicated by spending most days worrying about future worst-case scenarios and what ifs, as well as being completely caught up in negative thoughts to the extent that it interferes with one's daily functioning. The International Classification of Diseases described in their 10th revision the effects of excessive worry on the cognitive, psychological and vegetative level.

That said, I believe discoveries in neuroscience can inform our thinking and guide us to using the right tools and methods to stay calm and separate ourselves from our thoughts and feelings.


What worries the brain?

Constantly expecting negative outcomes and being consumed by negative thoughts and feelings of not being in control is a sign you’re caught up in an experience rather than facts.

Research has shown that the amygdala — the primal region of the brain associated with fear and anxiety-related memories — is hyperactive during times of stress and anxiety and releases a chemical cocktail into the body to increase the heart and pulse rate, contract muscles, raise body temperature, etc.

meta-analysis of research data points to another region in the brain: the posterior cingulate cortex. There is evidence that this part of the limbic system is activated when being caught up with attributes of ourselves and self-related thinking of "I am."

With this in mind, I believe the most important information from the research is that your brain can heighten your sense of anxiety, but that isn't a reflection on you.

Based on these findings, I created the body-mind survey, which consists of three steps to help you navigate and manage your anxiety in the workplace:


Step 1: Become fearless in your body.

Feelings are the cognitive awareness of what's going on in our bodies. Tuning into your body's sensations can help you let go of any entanglement with your feelings. So stand still and track your body from your head to your toes.

Observe the sensation carefully. There are areas in your body that hold specific emotions. For example, if you're fearful, you might feel fluttering in your chest, clutching, tension, shortness of breath and a dry mouth. In my experience, when you consciously become aware of your body's sensations, you can become fearless because you're able to manage those emotions and reactions.

Step 2: Breathe to make yourself feel secure.

Notice the area where you feel your body's sensations. Where is it most intensive? Gently breathe in for four seconds and out for seven seconds. As you’re breathing in, open up around this feeling and allow your heart rate to regulate. You can also practice this mindfulness breathing for 11 minutes daily, preferably concentrating on your heart.

As a consequence of perceived threat, the sympathetic nervous system is activated, which causes the heart to pump faster than normal. Practicing these deep breathing exercises can help you relax and initiate the parasympathetic nervous system's "rest and digest" response to calm the body down.

Step 3: Invite your thoughts in.

Let your thoughts come to the surface and look at them, rather than suppressing them or being caught up in them. Don’t be afraid of what will come up; thoughts are nothing more than words and pictures.

Look at your thinking self as a chatterbox that never stops and always has something to say. Can you notice your thoughts chattering? Ask yourself these questions:

• “So, what is my mind telling me right now?”

• “What does my thinking self have to say about me?”

• “How do I react, and what happens when I have this thought?”

In his book "ACT Made Simple," Russ Harris outlined an exercise to help you separate from your worries: First, contemplate one of your anxious thoughts, and allow yourself to believe it for about 10 seconds. Now, replay that same thought, but start it with the phrase, "I'm having the thought that." For example, "I'm having the thought that I'll fail."

Then, replay it one more time and, again, add a phrase. This time, add, "I notice." For example, "I notice I’m having the thought that I'll fail." Russ also explained that as an alternative, you can sing your thought or hear them in the voice of your favorite cartoon or movie characters. The goal here is to create distance between you and your thoughts. It can help increase your ability to regulate your emotional stress response and manage your identification with your thoughts and feelings.

The body-mind survey can assist you in breaking the vicious circle of worrying thoughts. The more you practice it, the better you’ll be able to navigate any feelings of anxiety you might have in the workplace.

 

This article was first published on forbes.

Interested?  Let’s work together.

Consider how you came to be in this situation. Do you need to make some changes at work, a different job, or a more satisfying relationship? Could it help you to speak to a professional? What needs to happen to prevent the same situation from happening again?

My goal as an executive coach and counselling psychologist is to elevate professionals to have a balanced work & life without stress, burnout and anxiety. No matter where you are in the world, the therapy sessions are held online. 4-Hours of my Elevate Intensive and you will improve the quality of your life, switch your body back to peace and balance, and gain clarity and focus.

I hold a master’s degree in psychology with an over 15-years career in counseling and coaching. I trained with a broad range of international experts like the world-renowned therapist and pioneering hypnotherapist Marisa Peer (Rapid Transformation Therapy Practitioner®), Rori Raye (Relationship Coaching), and Prof. Dr. Justin Kennedy (Applied Neuroscience Coaching).

Contact me today to learn how I can help make things better!  www.brainbossmethod.com

Like What Your Read? 

Register below and receive monthly advice!

Yes, sign me up for monthly newsletter emails from Silk Celia with highlights of her blog and vlog. For more information on how we use your information, check out our Privacy Policy. You can change your mind anytime by unsubscribing.